Aw,
the lesser known of American suburban splendors: the commute. Most people who
talk, and all who participate in the commute talk about the commute, say that
they have the worst one. Five hours in bumper to bumper, stuck behind a fleet
of school buses, catching every protest that happened to come through town,
behind an idiot every hour of the commute, and catching every wreck. There are
millions of faces staring back at each other on the drive in but, the only
faces that make it into the talk in the
commute are those in the car pool. Faces, none the less, that are the farthest
thing away from joy; a world that couldn’t be described with any black and
white ink from Webster’s. These people
make it into the talk because they are experiencing it all with you; you are
all united in the one constant effort to make it to the next Friday. Their feelings
and yours are what makes your commute the worst commute in the history of
America.
It is these feelings that bring
about the more awkward and, yet, awe inspiring small talk ever heard. Because,
no matter how hard Robert had tried or sworn to himself that work was work and
social was social, spending eight hours with the same people for five days a
week was bound to bring about talk of something besides the office. Robert
liked this of course, he preferred not having to talk about the office before
his first four cups of coffee but, awkward talk was not his forte.
Initially the talk had been
introductory; a casual where you from, and what kind of B.Sdegree you had. A
joke was poked at the college sports team you never watched or the slutty girl
from the guy’s high school that you should have known out of the 20,000 people
that went to your college. From here you got to know your car pool and expand
it until you found yourself only having to drive once a month. You got to know
the man you thought was the most like you because you were both single and
liked to party. You began to never know the father of two who was having all
the fun in the world but no fun at all. You got to know the man who would go
out for a drink and play it cool; only to end up not being cool at all. No
commute had these types exactly but, Robert’s car pool had these people
exactly; all lined up thinking they knew anything about Robert but at the same
time knowing nothing of Robert.
The younger man was taller than
Robert; a son of one of the higher ups in the company with black hair, blue
eyes and an attempt at a beard. He was drifting along in an ocean thinking he
was in a pond. His name was Kevin McDaniels and he wasn’t a bad fellow in most
people’s minds. Kevin couldn’t think of any other place to be but, at the same
time, he talked like he was always going somewhere else all the time. Mark
Swisher was a twenty five going on forty dad, brown hair, green eyes, two kids
and always seeming to try to have another one. He acted young but was older
than he was. Then, the perceived
straight edge of the group, Daniel (Danny) Gutierrez, shorter Mexican with a
mustache bordering on seventies porn star who was always talking like he knew
everything and everyone else only knew nothing. He wasn’t always like that but he
acted like it enough to make it a distinguishing trait.
The introductory small talk had
become nonexistent over the past year or so; giving way to laughs to exploits
of the former weekend or awkward comments that only warranted laughs, so as not
to piss off the originators. Laughing was always a good pause to figure out
what the hell to say; how to respond to worthless talking that was filling the
space. Robert sometimes didn’t mind it; sometimes it was refreshing. Other
times he didn’t see the point of it. Why talk like you really give a shit? At
the end of the day all you want to do is get away from these people; why act as
if you want to get closer? Thoughts like these made Robert think of himself as
a hypocrite because these were the same people he looked forward to during the
sliver of sunshine that got him through the morning routine.
“Morning Robert. What’s going down?”
the driver, Kevin said as Robert sat in the four door Chevy Cobalt; shotgun.
“Just trying not to think of work.
How’s everyone doing today?” Robert asked; filling the space.
“Good,” Robert heard, not too sure
who said it first.
“Nice…..had myself a chill weekend.
Hung out and watched some ball. Those Packers are looking pretty legit. What
happened to your Boys this weekend Danny?” Robert asked; looking behind him at
Danny.
“Man, every time I watch them I move
a little more toward alcoholism. The defense has been off man and I don’t know
why. But of course it’s always Romo’s felt,” Danny said; snickering a little at
the end.
“Why do you hate Romo so much? He’s
not a bad quarterback,” Mark said,
intervening and gaining a nod of the head from Kevin.
“You don’t know what it’s like man
to have a consistent quarter back, man. Someone who shows up ever week and you
know what you’re going to get out of him. I never know what the fuck Romo is
going to do. He’s got his brilliant four touchdown games and then he has his
happy go lucky four interception games. And….you know….the guy is always
smiling man; even when he fucks up he’s never pissed; he’s just always fucking
smiling.”
“What’s wrong with that?” Kevin
asked.
“I’m not saying there’s anything
wrong with it; man….it just bugs me. You need to have some passion in your play
man; be a little more involved. I just think you can’t lead without a little
bit of passion,” Danny said; looking a little annoyed. Like most, no one ever
liked talking when questioned and hardly wanted to be questioned.
“I just think you hate him because
he’s the easiest to blame and the first guy to come under the knife. One of the
toughest jobs in sports because of that spot light. So nitpicky. I mean, imagine
if our job had media outlets and every dick, jane, and berry talking about us
Monday thru Saturday. It’s got to be nerve racking,” Mark said.
“Ya, but at the end of the day they’re
playing a game,” Danny said; sounding a little smart.
“Its more than a game at that level;
it’s their job and a multi-million dollar business. You think that there’s no
stress at that level then? You’re living on fantasy island bro, if you do,”
Robert said
“I never said that. It is a game though
and…you can’t say that they’re not having fun, you know. It’s got to be one of
the better day jobs.”
“Ah….I don’t know about that man. I
wouldn’t want to get hit by 6’5 three hundred pound guys eight hours a week,”
Mark commented.
“I bet you would want 6’5 three
hundred pound guys all over you Marky Mark. Ha, ha,” Kevin said; coming in
right on time to change the subject before it got too serious.
“Fuck off man. At least I got a good
cover with the wife and kids; no one will ever expect anything. Ha, ha. I had
to add that in for the preservation of my self perception,” Mark said; smiling.
“Keep telling yourself that, little
gay boy,” Danny yelled; the car resonating with laughs.
“Self perception? What, you talking
like your image?” Robert asked; trying to get past the annoying laughs.
“You hit that one on the bull’s eye,
Rob. Ya, you got to have a good one of those to get through life. Look good,
feel good….that type of deal,” Mark explained.
“Ya, if you think you’re a piece of
shit your work is going to be a piece of shit,” Kevin added.
“I don’t know man, you think you
have a different image of yourself at work then you do at home?” Robert asked,
seeing Danny snap out of his morning space out session.
“It all flows into one mindset
eventual. I used to think that I could keep that stuff separate but these last
couple of years it’s been tough. I’ve stopped my political correctness and I
guess opened up to full disclosure,” Kevin said.
“You don’t want full disclosure, though,
man. Work is work and not play,” Danny said.
“But, you’re supposed to enjoy what
you do, right? Can you get enjoyment without fun? I feel like those go hand in
hand,” Kevin said.
“Ya, but what you’re talking about
is the picture you paint when you step in that office. I’m not going to talk
about the crazy shit I did over the weekend to some regular guy I do work with.
Now, the car pool….that’s a whole different story cause we chill outside of
work and I trust you guys. But, you got to be careful what you let on man cause
all people need are a little glimpse of who you are. All they need is the back
cover of the book and they’ll act like they already read the whole god damn
book that is your life,” Danny said; putting some emphasis on the last sentence.
How poetic, Robert thought.
“You can’t just be a robot, man, you
know? You have to be able to show a human side so people remember you and don’t
just think of you as some statue at work, taking up space,” Mark said;
interjecting before Kevin spoke.
“You could let your work speak for
yourself,” Robert said.
“You just end up being the guy in
the corner who’s an “expert”. My dad always said if you want to move up never
do too much in your current position to the point where you become crucial and
non-expandable. It takes luck and people skills to get up in the world. I mean,
if you just want to be that expert cool, you know, whatever….but I just don’t
agree with the whole work hard and everything works out. Its Santa Claus shit,”
Kevin said; bending forward and letting out a long yawn.
“Man I don’t want to go to
work…..Friday needs to be tomorrow,” Kevin said; rubbing his eyes giving off an
air of awkwardness; as if he was scared of revealing his opinion.
“I mean, it takes a little luck ya,
but….sorry back to what you were saying didn’t mean to spoil the bitching
session, you build up your own luck, you know. You do something good and, I
think, that something good happens,” Robert said.
“You just say that, though, cause
you have good luck,” Danny said.
“You don’t think you have good
luck?” Robert asked.
“It has nothing to do with me. It
has everything to do with the guy who just never seems to have anything go
right with him his whole life. The guy who’s the nicest guy you know but also
has the worst luck. In that situation he must have inherited an empty vault of
karma, huh?” Danny asked.
“There’s always an exception to the
rule, Danny. You go through life living off every little exception you’re never
going to think anything will work out. You have to have some ideals,” Robert
said.
“You think you need ideals in this
day and age? Live life hard and fast; by the sit of your pants and just see
what happens,” Mark said, jumping back into the conversation.
“You would say that’s an ideal,
though, Mark. A maybe immature ideal but an ideal,” Kevin said.
“What’s immature about it? You got
to experience life, you know. Man, when you’re young you got to do that kind of
stuff…be crazy. You got to be a little selfish before you find something you
can love a little more than yourself. I know that sounds vain, but, it’s just
what I’ve always thought,” Mark said, setting a sober mood in the car that none
of the younger passengers, except Robert, wanted to address.
“You know, it’s not bad to be a
little selfish. You have to take care of yourself first, you know, and then
after that everything will fall in place,” Robert said; thinking it was
bullshit at first but hoping it would become fact.
“You’re really confident in this
whole fate thing, huh, man?” Danny asked Robert.
“No, I don’t believe in fate. Fate
is something you don’t have control over. I believe in control, that’s what I
believe in,” Robert said.
“Ya, I like to think that. Sometimes
it feels like you don’t have any though. It’s easier to blame and bitch if you
think it’s outside of your control,” Mark said.
“I don’t know Mark. I don’t like to
whine like a bitch about stuff so I just assume I can do whatever the hell I
want. HA!” Kevin sarcastically said.
“Well, you’re not surrounded by
women all day. I think women are born with that inherent ability. Fuck cancer,
map the genome and figure out what the bitching gene is,” Mark said, rolling
with the sarcasm.
“They would get rid of it then, if
they found it. Then I wouldn’t be attracted to any women,” Danny said.
“You like them with attitude, huh,
Dan?” Mark asked.
“Oh ya. They have to have opinions,
you know. Just the right combination of a little annoying and intelligence.
They have to keep me interested, you know man,” Danny said; smiling on a topic
that piqued his interest.
“I feel that man. I feel that a lot
more then that bright, shiny mecca of productivity in front of us,” Mark said;
pointing toward the office; the politically correct term for the building.
“Shit man, I didn’t release we were
that close. Throw the women and children over board first, HA!” Kevin said.
“It’s okay guys; it is going to be
that bad,” Robert said.
“Bad as in good? That’s what all the
kids are saying now-a-days,” Mark said.
“That’s what we’re saying now-a-days,”
Kevin said.
“Don’t date me, man,” Mark said.
“Of course I wouldn’t want to date
you. You’re ugly and, unlike Danny, I don’t appreciate a good bitch,” Kevin
said; looking at Danny in the rear view and smiling.
“Well, guys, it was nice knowing
you,” Mark said.
“Till our release date in t-minus 8
hours,” Robert said; the car stopping and everyone not wanting to be the first
to open the door.
Welcome to work.
