Infatuation

When she smiled it was as if he was seeing a smile for the first time or laughing at a joke. When she laughed he didn't even need to because her's was so beautiful and light that it could carry the whole world in a chorus of laughter.  When she talked he couldn't figure out where the seconds went. When the seconds turned into minutes and the minutes into hours he realized anytime that he had spent not in her presence before this had meant nothing. When he talked he knew no one else in the world had ever paid any more attention to him. When he held her hand he felt closer to everything and the whole world stopped. When he thought of her his thoughts turned to grandeur and danced in a giant ballroom begot of endless possibilities and wonders. When he dreamed of her he never wanted to wake up. When he saw her eyes he saw a sunset in San Diego, a mountain breeze in the pines of Flagstaff, a trickling river on the Alps, a golden retriever running through the swaying wheat grass. When he saw her he saw what he himself wanted to be and everything he was not. When he was with her confidence exuded and nuzzled its cousin complacency out of the room.

When he talked of her it was with the dignity addressed to Gahdi or a higher power. When he touched her his body calmed and settled into a nice warm bed and a hot cup of soup. When he was with her Just My Imagination, Feel So Close, Skinny Love, and Sweet Child of Mine played continuously in the background. When he heard her voice it was always summer and closing time was never near. When he thought of her his problems escaped him, the work day went away, and life seemed simpler. When he was with her he never wanted to turn the page or watch the last five minutes to see the twist. When he was with her he didn't care about how much Kobe had put up the night before or whose talents were going to South Beach. When he was with her it felt like the most natural and comforting thing in the world.

Find Yourself

Take life by the horns said the babe to the sky
Don't look back to anything
Run with the wind so the problems don't catch up

Stop and listen to the soft patter of the stream
Elope yourself with the unknown
Open your mind to a cold, bitter winter morning
Don't say the pool is cold before you jump in

Buy yourself a ticket to a place you've never been
Have a glass of wine with a ghost
Talk to a man who doesn't want to listen
Say hello to a pretty lady whose saying good bye

Put the phone away for a minute
That artificial light is making your face dim
Go an hour without an update
Play some scrabble for a change

Call that person you've been meaning to call
Lose yourself in front of a crowd
Find your penny in the fountain
That water doesn't deserve your dreams

Walk around past the glazed eyes and the motors
Feel the brittle wall around your knowledge
Call to say happy birthday
Knock on the door to ask for flour

Act like you can't lose
Everybody will think you won
Wear your emotions with pride
Try to hike the trail no one's been on

Take the offer
Buy the drink
See the lights
Feel the earth

Don't make excuses
Throw seriousness out the window
Invite recklessness for dinner
Tell them shyness can't come

Never talk about what should have happened
Do what you feel
See the needle in the haystack
Find a heart in a black canyon

Be free

Intro to A Western

Sweat trickled out of the brim of his dusty hat as the sun glared on the horizon. Another day in a paradise that only allowed him to walk dead. The horse in front of him was a brown mare formerly of the women he had loved and now of the girl he loved. His dark hazel eyes contracted at the thought of her but a smile escaped his gloom as he looked upon the spitting image of his wife in front of him. They had named her Annabel mere minutes after she had come into this world. It had been the last words his wife had uttered as she laid down for the last time on that hot mid summer day. It seemed he had been sweating ever since. He kicked his brown stallion a little harder; to get closer to Anna. It was the only place his sweat every went; into the place at the center of his heart that was purely dedicated to protecting her and giving her the life she deserved. Poor girl had already had a mother taken away and she didn't need anymore else to happen.

"Let the horse know whose boss, Anna. I'd like to get there before those clouds start moving in," Lester said; setting beside her.

She was eleven, he remembered. Tall for her age and pretty enough to stop the boys from playing gun fights on the towns they past through. Brown hair that curled when it got thick. Blue eyes like her Mom's and a slender body that fit the three dresses that he had been able to procure before they had set out. Today it was the red polka dot dress; not meant for riding but she preferred it. She always wanted to look her best.

"I don't want to hurt Jenny now, Pa. We've been riding hard; she needs her rest," Anna said; high pitched.

"They'll be plenty of rest when we get to Tombstone Anna. Don't doubt that horse till you pushed her, now. She'll respect you more for it and you'll know that when you need her she'll come through. Now, get up!" He yelled; trailing back and giving the horse a good smack.

"Ah...Pa!!!" Anna yelled as the horse jolted up and steadied out to a faster pace.

The smile settled wider on Lester's face and a little laugh left his belly. He took in the landscape after seeing the horse slow and he wondered who would live in a place like this. Montana had been green; rolling hills all around and great brown buffalo you couldn't see anywhere else. This place had mesquite trees as the locals called them. Lester thought it was a far stretch calling them trees. More like bushes with ends that would prick your sides and sweat your eyes. It was better then the grotesque prickly sons of a bitches that he had tried to get water from the other day. Water wasn't even worth enough to have twenty of those invisible pricks stuck in your hand.

Besides the plants it was a tan dullness that eloped all around Lester; with solid rocks of all shapes and sizes kicking up under his horse. Every now and then they passed over make shift train tracks hulling lumber, food, and other necessities out to the barren lands. Lester hadn't seen any other houses since the ranch that had feed and bedded them for two evenings.

"Tombstone needs some use for cattle and hired hands for the building works. If there's one place to find work in this land its there. Watch your valuables, though...especially the little one," the ranch owner had said...."Its a place for men but suspect for children. The west is hard..." he had said. Luckily Anna hadn't been in the room when Lester had heard this; the smallest things scared the girl off.

Lester knew it wasn't the most ideal and it would require some white lies to her but he felt it was the best. He needed the work but most of all he needed the money; to earn and save. He needed to give up the whiskey and not make Tombstone like the seven towns before. It was about time they stopped moving and found a place to call their own. A place where he could find the strength to fill the hole in his heart that the whiskey kept getting poured into and leaking out of.

"Come on Pa. I see a sign ahead. Its got to be as tall as Mr. Wallace from back home. I'd race you to it but, I don't want to dirty my dress," Anna yelled back.

"You jus' don't want to lose now Anna. Slow down now, rein up on her," Lester said; kicking into the muscle, urging the beast forward.

His eyes were still sharp as he caught up with Anna and peered forward. The hazy horizon gave way and the sun blinked out and the sign read Tombstone.

"There she is Anna, Tombstone," Lester said with a hint of confidence and the smile slightly fading.