Treadmill

Ca-chug...Ca-chug...Ca-chug went the repeating rubber to the backdrop of faint heavy music; set aside to the clanging and clacking of metal on metal. A billion thoughts swirled, blended, stewed, sat, festered, procrastinated  waited, wanted, in the mind of the 210 pounds of flash that ca-chuged...ca-chuged...on the repeating rubber. A billion non-qualitative thoughts that he only dreamed to be logical because you could assign a number to each one. It wasn't always that easy; in fact it was never that easy. All of these logical lists he was paid to do and found himself doing on the repeated rubber where anything but logical. You see, logic always has a clear end; something that people can all agree on. The only thing that kept coming up was an enigma; a circular problem brought about by circular reasoning because he kept coming back to the billion thoughts. The circular problem that his conclusion was that, in the end, there was no conclusion.

It was all how he kept chugging along, though, on the rubber. The thoughts of being patient; the thoughts of what was next; the thoughts of what he wanted; what they wanted; what society wanted. All of these open ended questions that everyone around him had seemed to shrug off or accept defeat on were the ones that he hadn't given up on yet. He told himself he had a higher purpose; more to this life then all of this that had appeared all around him. He didn't look at it all as opportunity but only as a box; a box that constricted who he was and made him want to get on the rubber to escape it all. Only he never really did for the questions changed to a sound like a ticking time bomb; ringing in his head telling him to do something before he was too old; before he had transformed into all of the people that he thought had stopped asking the billion questions. Was he crazy to think this way? Was he all just too worked up for his own middle class, voting, bbq, Sunday night football, bachelor's degree, fun loving, light beer drinking, white ass?

Ca-chug...ca-chug...ca-chug.